We’re all guilty of it. At some time in your life you’ve probably made a mental list in your head of exactly what you want in a significant other. You’ve thought about what your future will be like. The house with the husband, the kids, and the cute little dog. Society puts so much pressure on us to be in a relationship and when you’re not in one, you might tend to question why that is and if there’s something wrong with you.

Nothing is wrong with you. I promise. I myself have struggled with this quite a lot. Seeing many of my friends be in relationships or even just go on dates. You can get kind of jealous at times. You don’t mean to be; you’re happy for them, but you wonder why can’t I have that? You see the relationship statuses on Facebook, hear about former classmates getting engaged, married, having children, etc. It’s hard.

A year ago I would’ve thought to myself, well this sucks. I probably did think that to myself. At one point I actually remember asking a friend if my standards for guys were just too high. Unless your standards are about superficial things; they’re not too high of standards, so stop thinking that.

The hardest thing for me was to be okay with being single. I came into college Freshman year thinking I was going to meet a guy and fall in love. I mean, that’s what happens in the movies, right? The reality is, that’s not most people’s reality. I would talk about it with my friends who were in relationships and they’d say things like: “Be patient. You’ll meet him eventually. He’s out there. God’s timing is better than your timing.” The reason those things were so frustrating to me isn’t because they were wrong. It’s because they were right. All those statements are the truth, but hearing those things didn’t actually make me feel better. It didn’t magically give me a boyfriend. I was still one of my few friends without a boyfriend. I was still third-wheeling with my friends. I was still getting asked if I’d met a nice guy yet every time I went and visited Grandma :). The list goes on and on.

Now, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that today I’m 100% okay with being single, because that’d be a lie. It’s not easy living in a world where relationships are common. It’s assumed people are going on dates and meeting someone they might one day marry. Society tells us we should be in relationships. We have this innate desire to share our lives with someone, so to sit back and watch others have boyfriends, get proposed to, get married… it can be hard.

What I will say is since changing my outlook on being single, I haven’t dwelt on it as much. I enjoy being single because I can do whatever I want whenever I want. I can spend that time with friends. I can deepen my relationships that I do have with others and God. I can work on myself and learn more about the things in life that interest me the most. I still have days that I want nothing more than to be in a relationship, but I am able to thoroughly enjoy being single. One day I’ll get asked out on a date and if it goes well maybe lead to a relationship.

Until then, I’m perfectly fine with sitting here being single. To all the single people reading this, stop questioning if there’s something wrong with you because you’re single. There’s not and you’re not alone. Rather than dwelling on being single, embrace it! Make the most of it. Looking back on it, I bet we’ll all be glad we did.